Friday morning starts with a voicemail message from our department's "overtalker".  I call her Overtalker because even if she asks you a question she'll keep mumbling & talking making it impossible for you to answer her. "Sorry, but I'm not coming in today because my daughter is sick and she kept me up all night".  That's fine because we're all entitled to our time off work but I'm not sure why she needed to use a deathly sick tone in her voice if it's her daughter that's sick.  I guess to make it more believable.  Luckily, Friday's business tend to be a little slower than the rest of the week.

Monday morning comes around and so does another voicemail message from Overtalker but only now she says she's caught her daughter's cold so she's gonna stay home.  In her same deathly sick voice she says to call her at home if we needed anything but most likely she won't hear the phone because she'll be sleeping all day.  Well, I guess that's okay but now the department needs to cover her desk and calls on the week's busiest day. 

Here's where she gets BUSTED in her lie.  One of her clients calls and needs to speak to someone else since Overtalker was "going out of town for the weekend"... huh?  I corrected him saying she called in sick today and his reponse was "I thought she was going to Disney this weekend?"  BUSTED!  Sure enough, there in her clients file is her email she sent a week earlier telling him she was planning on being out of the office for a long weekend. 

Overtalker finally makes it to work on Tuesday morning with a box of tissues in hand and a case of the sniffles telling everyone how miserable she still feels and that she slept the entire weekend.  I heard her repeat her story told to at least 10 different people stopping by to visit her cubicle.  Funny thing, after about an hour, her sniffles cleared up and she was back to normal.  Guess the act was too hard to keep up.

Rule number one, never lie using your kids as an excuse because you're gonna look like a bigger fool when you're caught.  And number two, keep a low profile.  Don't tell others what you're really doing and especially don't leave evidence on the company's computer server that contradicts your lies.

Needless to say, a little bird printed her email to give to our department manager who's currently working on our annual raises.  hehehe