Cupid in the Cubicles: What about those office flings? By Patricia Kitchen NewsDay Inc. 

There are co-workers who meet and fall in love at the office -- or, maybe, just have a fling.   And then there are married co-workers who meet and fall in love at work -- or, maybe, just have a fling.

If the first camp presents ample opportunities for workplace distraction and drama, just think of the dust storms the second camp can kick up -- You know, angry spouses showing up in the lobby.  

According to the annual Office Romance Survey -- yes, Valentine's Day is a week away -- 48 percent of 945 employees surveyed say they've known of a married colleague who cheated on his or her spouse with someone at work.  

And 40 percent say they know of a married -- or otherwise seriously committed -- co-worker who got a little frisky with someone on a business trip.   The survey was conducted last month by Vault.com, a Manhattan-based career web site.  

Here's what Great Neck relationship expert Robin Gorman Newman wants to know about the findings: "How do they all know that?   Are people that open?   Are they that blatant?   Or are they being outed by someone?"   She says the findings speak to the unlikelihood of keeping such activity under wraps.  

And while finding out about single colleagues who are dating may generate a little buzz, the involvement of married workers really gets the gossip mill fired up.   And, Newman says, it can lead to results such as losing out on a raise or a promotion once the boss finds out -- unless, of course, you ARE the boss.  

Gorman Newman, founder of Lovecoach.com, tells of a job she had where a married partner was stepping out with a client.   When the partner's wife came into the office, "we all wondered if she knew."  

And when he was all "lovey-dovey" with his wife, Gorman Newman says she and colleagues thought "you are so full of it."  

While workplace dalliances are not among the top "precipitating factors" he sees in divorce cases, Ken Koopersmith, an attorney in Garden City says, "it happens not infrequently."   Of course, in some cases, two marriages end up being dissolved.  

So, if you're married, are expecting a less than sizzling Valentine's Day and are considering making a play for a work colleague, here's some advice from Koopersmith: "Stay the hell away.

"It can give rise to all kinds of complications and disappointments," he says.   "It could result in your losing your job, losing friends or losing your spouse. It's not a good idea."

My office has had several “disasters’ because of people breaking the office dating rules.   Unfortunately, they usually seem to end with one person leaving the company.   The following is a great article from Diane Stafford with the Kansas City Star just in time for Valentine’s Day.

“Young workers, particularly those starting out in big law and accounting firms or as hospital residents, often work long, long hours. In such situations, work pretty much becomes one’s life, and work colleagues become one’s friends.  

There’s hardly time to “get a life” outside of the job or nurture outside relationships.   No surprise, then, that romance blossoms at work.   It happens even when long hours aren’t the norm.   The work world is full of office romances.   Some — quite publicly — go horribly awry.   Sex and office politics can be a career-killing combination.  

Fortunately, most intraoffice dating doesn’t end calamitously.   Some co-workers even end up at the altar.   But whatever the outcome, it’s smart to be careful with in-house relationships.   It’s a fitting subject for the week of Valentine’s Day, when desks tend to bloom with bouquets and romantic messages zip through company e-mail systems.  

Here are some generally accepted guidelines for keeping an office romance safe:

•Bosses, don’t date your employees. Employees, don’t date your bosses.
•No matter whom you date, keep the public displays of affection out of the workplace.
•Don’t send sexually suggestive notes to each other at work, especially not on the organization’s computer system.
•Save the flowers and other gifts for exchange at home.
•For that matter, try to keep the relationship private enough that it doesn’t become fodder for co-workers’ gossip.
•Understand that an extramarital affair may bring work consequences.   Some organizations treat such affairs as contrary to the values it expects its employees (particularly its executives) to represent.
•When a relationship ends, be mature, civil and quiet about it.

Fewer organizations these days expressly forbid dating among co-workers.   It’s just not practical, given the realities of time spent on the job.   But when organizations are silent on the dating “rules,” the onus is on workers to self-police their relationships.  

Train wreck or true bliss: You make the call.”

When you have an 'I Hate My Job' day, try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: 'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized '.

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, 'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE BEHIND THAN YOURS!

THE WORKING LIFE
Co-workers are often annoying to colleagues
By Sharon Linstedt

So what annoys you most about your co-workers?

If gossip, poor time management and messiness are among your pet peeves, you’re not alone. According to a late 2007 survey by national staffing firm Randstad USA, 60 percent of workers said they’ve heard enough office gossip.
More than half (54 percent) of those surveyed would like to see fellow staffers be more productive while on the job, and 45 percent said their office mates need to clean up their work space.

Genia Spencer, Randstad’s managing director of operations and human resources, said annoyances escalate when you put a diverse work force in tight quarters for long hours.

“As the multigenerational workplace evolves, and with colleagues spending more time together, personal and professional behaviors begin to blend, affecting the overall workplace culture, attitudes and experiences within an organization,” Spencer said.

The survey, which polled some 2,500 working adults across the United States, also found technology creates conflict. Blaring speaker phones and ring tones, use of laptops and personal digital assistants during meetings and nonstop listening to MP3 players drew co-worker boos.

Addiction to e-mail and instant messages when direct verbal communication is possible also got a thumbs down.
Staffers are also sick (literally) of inhaling their co-workers’ perfumes, colognes, stinky foods and tobacco stench.
The intensity of the annoyances is directly tied to the open venues in which many employees work, said Eric Buntin, Atlanta-based Randstad’s managing director for marketing and operations. Back in the days of real offices, with walls and a door, co-worker idiosyncrasies were physically muted.

“If you’re sitting in an office alone all day, you’re not going to be bothered by it,” Buntin said in the survey. “But if you’re working in a team of three, or it you’re in an open work environment, you’re probably going to hear more of it and be annoyed by it.”

An informal survey of some local workers and their pet peeves bears this out. Amanda, a call center employee who works in a “bull pen” with 30 people, said noise is her daily enemy.

“Even with my headset on, I hear everybody around me. There’s one guy who acts like he’s on stage,” she said. “He stands up, waves his arms around and practically yells.”

Another loud talker complaint falls into the “too much information” category. High-volume phone spats with singificant others drive co-workers nuts. Ditto for over-the-phone make-up sessions with the aforementioned.
Eric, a real estate manager, is ready to yank the iPod buds out of his co-workers’ ears.

“You see the white cords around their necks and it’s like a ‘Keep Away’ sign. It’s rude and it doesn’t make for a very collaborative atmosphere,” he said.

Lots of local workers have food-related issues on the job. Smelly food, messy food and missing food are leading woes.  “I’ve had things stolen from my lunch bag several times,” said Judy, a construction firm staffer. In a related complaint, she’s sick of opening the office fridge to find rotting, stinking food.  While many of these issues might be cleared up via a boss-issued memo, the situation is trickier when the boss is the offending party.

Josh, a legal assistant, recalled a former supervisor’s odd grooming habit.  “You’d go into his office to talk about something, and he’d pull out the clipper and start trimming his nails. Then he’d push the little bits into a pile on the desk and play with them. It was disgusting,” he said.  Josh solved the problem by getting a new job.

Find this article at:
http://www.buffalonews.com/145/story/251228.html

Wishing Everyone a Merry Christmas...

... Except for the "nose whistler" in the next cubicle.
Please trim those nostrils before you head back on Wednesday.

"Merry Christmas everyone, oops, I mean Happy Holidays". 

What BULLSHIT that some co-workers are now offended if you wish them a Merry Christmas.  Get real.  Christmas is not a swear word that I should be worried about being overheard.  If someone wishes me a Happy Hanukah or Happy Kwanzaa or even Seinfield's Happy Festivus, I don't go running into HR complaining about being insulted.  Lighten up people or Santa is bringing you nothing but coal.

Here's a great article found on www.personneltoday.com.

So recently I featured a posting about 'moofing' now Office Angels has coined the phrase 'smossiping' (smoking outside while having a gossip). Apparently, according to a survey revealed today by Office Angels, 14% of over 1000 UK workers prefer to smossip as a way of relaying office news. Let's face it we all love a bit of office gossip, as the survey continues to reveal that:

- Almost one in three office workers cower in the canteen or local cafe
- One fifth discuss more than last night’s TV by the water cooler
- 17% tinkle on their key board on IM/email or send a sneaky text

However, there's always a catch when gossiping. While 35% have heard someone talking about them behind their back, more than a quarter have had a working relationship ruined by office gossiping and over 15% have been caught discussing their boss’ behaviour.

David Clubb, managing director of Office Angels, comments:

“While office chit-chat is part of working life there can be a fine line between social interaction and nasty gossip. It's important to maintain a professional attitude at all times, starting rumours about colleagues undermines working relationships and can lead to an atmosphere of mistrust, impacting on performance. If you are seen to start malicious gossip, both your colleagues and senior management will view you as someone who doesn’t think values such as honesty and integrity are important.”

His gossip rules are as follows:·
· Immerse yourself in friendly chit-chat, but be aware not to partake in gossiping at the expense of another employee. Office walls have ears and it is easy to trace gossip back to the source
· We all need to let off steam occasionally but it’s best to discuss other colleagues or your boss with people separate from your working life, where other people’s opinions won’t be affected.
· Consider whether you want to be seen as a gossipy person. Everyone likes to know about the latest office ‘scandal’ whether it’s a blossoming relationship in the office or a colleague handing in their notice but you don’t need to be the first person to tell everyone all of the time
· Be careful who you confide in. Be aware that whilst light-hearted office gossip does forge friendships, the work place is a very competitive environment. Only confide in true friends or pay a visit to your HR Manager if you’ve got something on your mind
· The old adage rings true – treat others and you would like to be treated.